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Nov 03, 2023

Mum fumes after 'uninvolved' mother

The mum says that she feels uncomfortable handing over such an 'intimate' piece

The mum says that she feels uncomfortable handing over such an 'intimate' piece of information about her son as she feels it's an invasion of his privacy.

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When you have a baby, it's not entirely uncommon for members of your family to get a tattoo in honour of your little one's arrival, especially those in your immediate family. However, one new mum was left furious after her mother-in-law revealed she was planning to have her son's footprint tattooed, which she believes is an invasion of her child's privacy, the Mirror reports.

The new parent said she gave birth to her son six weeks ago and, when her husband's mum finally visited the new born four weeks after he was born, she asked for a copy of her grandson's footprint so she could get her tattoo started.

The woman was left gobsmacked by her unexpected request as she had not been told anything about it. She was also uncomfortable with the idea of such personal information about her son being handed out and used as a tattoo design.

Taking to Reddit to explain the situation, she explained: "I just gave birth and I'm currently six weeks postpartum with my first baby. My mother-in-law decided not to come to the hospital for the birth. Her reasoning was that since I am the mother, my mother should be the only one there.

"She has a daughter who gave her her first grandchild 4 years ago. With her daughter's grandchild, she was a lot more involved. It took four weeks for her to finally meet her new grandchild, and this is where the problem happened. While we were at dinner, she said a few snarky comments towards me that I just ignored.

"What I couldn't ignore is how she asked my husband for the print of my son's foot so she can get her tattoo going. No one talked to me about this. My husband didn't talk to me about it nor did she ask me if it was OK for her to get it.

"She has her granddaughter's foot on her back and it's huge and very poorly done. I have a very big problem with this. I feel like my son's footprint is very intimate and sentimental and having it tattooed on someone else's body really bothers me.

"I wouldn't care as much if she got my son's name, tattooed, or a piece of jewellery [dedicated to him] but it's something about the footprint being so intimate that bothers me."

The mum also said she was not happy at the thought of her mother-in-law's planned tattoo because she claimed she had "barely been there" for her son's life so far, as she wasn't at the birth and had stayed away for the first four weeks.

However, commenters were divided on the issue as some said she was well within her rights to refuse the tattoo if it made her feel uncomfortable, while other said she was being too critical about her mother-in-law's actions.

One person replied: "To me, the footprint is a method of identification and would be a violation of the child's privacy. I'm sure my reasoning is way out there but that's my primary reaction to this."

Another agreed: "[Footprints are a] thing that is unique to each person, so it's kind of strange to have it of someone you haven't made much of an attempt to meet or see."

A third person tried to see it from both sides as they questioned: "Why are you upset she was not there for the birth? I would say that's a win, you're not close to her, and you don't like her, why would you want her there? Same for the first visit.

"Most of the ladies posting here are upset because their MILs are trying to visit two minutes after the baby is born, while the parents need peace and quiet to bond with the baby. I don't get it, I think she's done all that right, she gave you space.

"As for the tattoo … I would not care one way or another but of course, it is your child and whatever you decide should take priority. You are an adult, perfectly capable of saying no."

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